First of all, I wanted to thank you all for having me here today. Not that I was coerced in any way by anyone you know and love. I really am happy to be here, and I don’t care how the opportunity came to be. That’s forgiveness right there.


I also wanted to mention one of your best ambassadors, Carolyn Law, because she holds a special place in my heart. She gave up a huge chunk of her life last May and June to journey with me through my discernment process. It seems only fair and right that I would come to her turf to offer my first post-discernment sermon!  


Let us pray.

Gracious God,

Grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change;

the courage to change the things we can change;

and the wisdom to know one from the other. Amen.


As I plowed through commentaries and explanations about this gospel reading many of which started out with, “This is an impossible reading to talk about and Jesus never speaks more harshly than his words to Peter.” Furthermore, we hear tough words about pain and suffering, and it was clear to me the best route would be a sweet sermon on the lovely reading from Romans!


But no, preach the Gospel.


So reading the words and now hearing the words read, “Those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it” had me recalling the writings on the wall of the accounting firm where I worked for 13 years. Now, I am not referring to the handwriting on the wall. We had actual writings on our walls. When we entered from the employee parking area, the first writing we saw as we entered and the last we saw as we exited was, “Be the change you seek in the world.” Then on another wall that was down the hall as we approached the breakroom for coffee, which we did numerous times during the day, we saw the reading, that said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” 


That paradox rang true to me this week.  


Those words never failed to make us pause and think, even when we weren’t totally feeling it. There were long, hard days at the end of tax seasons. Sometimes the “service of others” part seemed overwhelming as we got near the finish line.


We are often challenged to be followers of Jesus and to identify Christ at work in our lives and in the world. It can be hard to recognize Jesus even when he stands right in front of us. Maybe we even doubt who Jesus is, like Peter did when he tried to walk on the water.  This passage marks a turning point in the story. We’re now hearing Jesus speak of the journey to Jerusalem where there will be suffering and death—his own. 


The disciples have witnessed real miracles that they know point straight to God and the certain divinity of Jesus. They are distressed that Jesus was not turning out to be the Messiah they thought he would be, that he could conquer anything. Peter, especially, figured there must be a work around to the suffering and death Jesus described. This was not the future Peter envisioned for Jesus, or for himself as a follower. It is no wonder Peter cried out as he did and got himself crossways with Jesus. Peter did not want Jesus to die. He did not want his life and all that it meant for God’s people to be wasted.


Barbara Brown Taylor offers these words: “The deep secret of Jesus’ hard words to us is that our fear of suffering and death robs us of life, because fear of death always turns into fear of life, into a stingy cautious way of living that is not living at all. The deep secret of Jesus’ hard words is that the way to have abundant life is not to save it, but to spend it, to give it away, because life cannot be shut up and saved.”


Peter’s fear of death, I think a basic fear we all have to some extent if we are being honest, may well be what Jesus meant when he tells Peter that he is “concerned with human things.” We all will eventually face death—death from illness, age or even other kinds of death like the death or near death of a church through circumstances we never even have imagined. And like Peter, we often miss the point Jesus is making—that we must die in order to live. Giving up our lives is the way we gain the life to which Christ calls us.  Another more confusing paradox…


Like Peter, we think we have a good idea of what following Jesus should look like, but it is often grounded in things of this world, not the things of God’s kingdom. Our limited human view prevents us from seeing the bigger picture of God’s grace extended to all of God’s people—all meaning all, not just the ones we approve of or like the best, not necessarily the ones who look like us or pray like us, or live like us. Or to use a phrase Paula shared with me some years ago, I have a gush of denominational pride to be a part of a church that welcomes everyone with “no exceptions” and means it.


So here’s the tension—we don’t always see how our actions and words, based on our limited view, impact others. We can’t see the hurt we cause or the doors we close. We cannot see how not bearing our cross can make another’s cross heavier. But, bearing our cross is exactly what Jesus calls us to do. We are not talking about the little inconveniences we jokingly refer to as ‘our cross to bear.’ We are called to real sacrifice of our selves—and as stated in the Book of Common Prayer Rite I, “We offer and present unto thee our souls and bodies to be reasonable holy and living sacrifice unto thee.” We fully surrender and through that act, we find complete freedom. We become free to be the holy people God has created us to be and intends for us to be. 


Living into this tension, this paradox of giving up our lives to find them, is where Jesus meets us and calls us to new life. It might be a call to repentance --  to turn away from things of the world that distract and detract and turn toward a new direction fully trusting in God as we put one foot in front of the other.


Life requires risk. We have to walk out the door and face risk. We cannot have love without risking heartbreak, we cannot have friendship without the risk of rejection, so what do we do? We walk out into the crowd where we might bump into someone carrying a cross like ours or a different one-- it matters not. We are invited to follow and the path does not avoid death, it goes right through it. Right through our fears and worries. It may not be an easy road and we risk it all -- just like God risked becoming human and walking with us to give us life.


“…For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, will find it.”


It sounds crazy. And perhaps it is. But whoever said that following Jesus would make sense? AMEN.

 

 

 

 

 

By Paula Jefferson May 3, 2026
April 12, 2026
Once when a certain preacher launched into a children’s sermon, she was confronted by a visiting child, an eight-year-old friend of a regular member. The boy was new to this church but was a regular attendee at another congregation that did not have children’s sermons. Nevertheless, the visitor tried his best to follow the line of the preacher’s effort to connect with the children. Attempting to hook the children with something familiar before making her point, the priest asked the children to identify what she would describe. “What is fuzzy and has a long tail?” No response. “What has big teeth and climbs in trees?” Still no response. After she asked, “What jumps around a lot and gathers nuts and hides them?” the visiting boy could stand the silence no longer. He blurted out, “Look, lady, I know the answer is supposed to be ‘Jesus,’ but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.” Today’s Gospel reveals to us St. Thomas – who was put in a situation similar to that of the boy at the children’s sermon. Thomas was the one who had not seen the risen Jesus when he first appeared to the disciples. The others told him they had seen the Lord, but he was skeptical. He doubted. Still, Thomas must have wanted to fit in. He might have said, “Look, friends, I know the answer is supposed to be that I acknowledge that you saw Jesus, but it sure sounds like a ghost to me.” Aren't we all a little like Thomas? Thank God for that! Because, as Elton Trueblood once said, “a faith that is never questioned isn't worth having.” Thomas remained with the others until his doubts and uncertainties were transformed into a dynamic faith. Doubt is a universal human experience. We have all felt the pain, the harassment, and the threat of it. Doubt comes in different depths. The deepest form denies that we can believe anything at all. The other extreme is the mind of the dogmatic that sails along with unquestioning confidence on a sea of tranquil certitude. While there is a certain appeal in dogmatic tranquility, there is also the danger that we might overlook the possibility of error in our most familiar beliefs. As much as we might like to think of eliminating any trace of doubt in our life, the truth is that it would be undesirable, even if it were possible. When someone tells me that he has never had a moment of probing religious doubt, I find myself wondering whether that person has ever known a moment of vital religious conviction. For if one fact stands out above all others in the history of religion, it is this: the price of a great faith is a great and continuous struggle to get it, to keep it, and to share it. Faith is a fight as well as a peace. I find myself thinking of my task as a Pastor and Teacher in the way described by Paul Tillich, when he said, “Sometimes I think my mission is to bring faith to the faithless and doubt to the faithful.” Tuesday of this week is the annual remembrance of the Holocaust, Yom Hashoah. As we recall that tragic chapter in human history, we are painfully reminded of Adolf Hitler. Hitler was an atheist. We usually think of atheism as ultimate doubt. But when you think of it as a religion, you can see how helpful it would be to have a system of doubt to correct it. Hitler had no religion to cast doubts on his approach to life. But there are other problems besides Hitler's form of atheism. There is, for example, practical atheism. Practical atheists believe in God. He just doesn't have anything to do with their lives. Martin Luther once wrote, “There is the person who has never doubted that God is, but who lives as though God were not; and there is the person who doubts whether God is, or even denies that God is, but lives as though God were. In the latter, the grace of God is at work.” Look at the lives of the saints. According to holy legend, doubt appears as a temptation which increases in power with the increase of saintliness. In those who rest on their unshakable faith, pharisaism, fundamentalism, and fanaticism are the unmistakable symptoms of doubt which has been repressed. Doubt is overcome not by repression but by courage. Courage does not deny that there is doubt, but it takes the doubt into itself as an expression of its own finitude and affirms the content of an ultimate concern – a concern that impacts our lives and how we relate to the world around us and the people in it. Courage does not need the safety of unquestionable conviction. It includes the risk without which no creative life is possible. The Christian faith is stronger than our doubts. It is like the Chinese proverb, which says, “Chinese sails, though full of holes, still work.” Suppose a half dozen of us were seated around the walls of a darkened room. We are told that somewhere in the open, middle space, there is a chair. It is not just any chair; it is an antique, the creation of a noted designer, worth several thousand dollars. Which of us will find that chair? Certainly not those who sit still and philosophize about where the chair might be placed, about its existence, or about its value. No, the chair can be found only by those who have the courage to get up and risk stumbling around in the dark, using whatever powers of reason and sensation we might have until the chair is discovered. Or in our relationships with those we love. I have faith that my wife loves me. I feel her kindness, her caring, her loving touch - all these I interpret to mean that she loves me. Not every moment of our relationship has been perfectly romantic. We went to high school together and during that time I thought she hated me. I was wrong; she was just shy. But I came to see that her acts of love are such that, while I cannot claim absolute certainty now or about the future, I have a deep faith in her love for me. We cannot ever “know” or “verify” the experience of love with the same probability as sunrise or a lab experiment, but we have faith that love is real, is what we know to be the case, is the explanation which correctly interprets certain “scientific” experience. Those who are familiar with the scientific method know that the point is not to set out to prove a theory but to attempt to disprove it. Doubt is an essential element in the advancement of science, in the pursuit of truth, and in critical thinking. As far as we know, human beings are the only creatures on the planet, perhaps in the cosmos, endowed with the privilege and responsibility to exercise reason. Once a young man said to the philosopher, Blaise Pascal, “Oh that I had your creed, then I would live your life.” Pascal replied, “let me tell you something, young man. If you will live my life, it will not be many days until you have my creed.” In other words, Pascal is saying it is easier to act your way into belief than the other way around. And when we see Thomas after the resurrection, we follow the trajectory of his faith from confusion to confession. The risen Christ, at last, confronted him in the presence of the others and together they dealt with his doubt until it gave way to affirmation. He does that for us, too. In an era when many people in power have a view of Christian faith that is very narrow and contained in a very confined context, I am grateful to be in a Church that has room for doubt and is open to questions. Those who come to us with those doubts and questions receive a genuine welcome and are lovingly embraced so that we can journey and grow together in faith, hope, and love. 
By Paula Jefferson April 6, 2026
By Paula Jefferson March 29, 2026
March 22, 2026
By Paula Jefferson March 16, 2026
By Paula Jefferson March 8, 2026
In 2017, I visited Jacob's Well. We stood in a circle and read today’s Gospel text. John tells us what happened when the women encountered Jesus. But, as I worked with the text this week, I wondered what the story might sound like if it was told by the woman, rather than a narrator. So imagine, for a moment, that she is the one telling the story. As you listen, notice the conversation is like a chess match—each question invites the conversation to deepen. I did not go to the well that day looking for God. I went because the jar was empty. You know how life is. Morning comes, the sun climbs higher than you expect, and before long the ordinary tasks are piling up: Bread to bake; Water to draw. Work that does not ask what kind of person you are—it simply asks to be done. So I took my jar and walked the familiar road to Jacob’s well. It was the middle of the day. No shade, no breeze. I preferred it that way. If you go early in the morning, everyone is there. The conversations begin before the bucket even touches the water. People talk about crops, about marriages, about children. And sometimes about other people’s lives. My life has been the subject of those conversations. So, I go at noon. Alone. But that day there was a man sitting beside the well. At first, I thought he must be a traveler resting his feet. The dust on his robe said he had come a long way. But when I looked more closely, I saw something else. He was a Judean. Now you have to understand something about that. Judeans and Samaritans do not usually share wells, cups, or conversations. We have our mountain, they have their temple, and between those two places lies a long history of arguments. So I lowered my eyes and went about my work. If I kept quiet, perhaps he would too. But then he spoke. “Give me a drink.” I looked up. Surely, I had misunderstood. “You are a Judean,” I said, “and I am a woman of Samaria. How is it that you ask me for a drink?” He did not apologize. He did not withdraw the request. Instead, he said something even more strange. “If you knew the gift of God,” he said, “and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” Now I have drawn water from that well since I was a kid. My parents did. My grandparents did. The well is deep, and the water is good, but no one draws it without a rope and a jar. I looked at his empty hands. “Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get this living water? Are you greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us the well?” He did not laugh at my question. “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never thirst. The water I give will become a spring inside you, giving eternal life.” A spring inside me? That was a bold claim. And if it was true, it would change everything. “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.” Then he did something unexpected. He said, “Go call your husband.” Now that is the moment when most people begin telling my story as if it were only about my past. I answered him honestly. “I have no husband.” And he looked at me—not the way people in town look when they think they already know who you are. He looked at me as if he could see the whole of my life at once. “You are right,” he said. “You have had five husbands, and the one you have now is not your husband.” He said it plainly. No accusation. Just truth. This man knew my story. All of it. And yet he was still speaking to me. “Sir, I see that you are a prophet.” And if he was a prophet, then there was a question I had always wondered about: “Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain,” I said, “But you Judeans say that the place where people must worship is in Jerusalem.” I still don’t fully understand his answer. But I remember the way he said it—as if the world we thought we understood was already passing away: “The hour is coming,” he said, “when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. The true worshipers will worship in spirit and truth.” Not here. Not there. Something larger. I thought of the promise our people had always carried. “I know that Messiah is coming,” I told him. “When he comes, he will proclaim all things to us.” And then he said it. “I am he.” Right there beside the well….in the middle of my ordinary day. In that moment the world shifted. The God our ancestors argued about on mountains and in temples was not far away at all. He was sitting beside me, asking for a drink. About that time his disciples came back from town. They looked surprised to see him talking to me, though none of them said a word. But by then I had forgotten why I came. Somewhere beside the well my jar was still sitting on the ground. Because suddenly the water I came for no longer seemed like the most important thing in the world. I ran back to town….to the same people who gossiped about me. “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! Can he be the Messiah?” They came. Many believed because of my testimony. But later they said something even better. “It is no longer because of your testimony that we believe,” they told me. “Now we have heard for ourselves.” And that is how encounter works. You come to the well carrying whatever jar life has given you—your history, your reputation, the ordinary work of your days, the burdens that seem overwhelming… And Christ meets you there. He speaks your truth. He offers living water. And before you know it, the jar that once defined your life is sitting forgotten beside the well. Because the water you were looking for is no longer something you carry in your hands. It has become a spring within you. God is alive. God is among us. God is here. God is now. Come and see.
By Melanie Kingsbury March 1, 2026
By Paula Jefferson February 22, 2026
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